Quote of the Day (2010-12-31)

H.I.: Do you ever get the feeling that there's something... Powerful pressing down on you?

Glen: Yes, I know that feeling. I told Dot to lose some weight but she don't wanna listen.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2010-12-30)

Harry Burns: Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you're gonna be screaming at each other about who's gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That's Mine, This Is Yours.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2010-12-29)

Principal Gibbons: This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2010-12-28)

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2010-12-27)

Steve: I lied. Um... All that stuff I said about being a crack head? It just helps me sell magazines. I'm actually an unemployed... software engineer.

Peter Gibbons: You're a software engineer?

Steve: Yup.

[sighs]

Samir: Things, uh... it must be very rough for you.

Steve: Actually man, I make more money selling magazine subscriptions, than I ever did at Intertrode!

Source: Office Space

Quote of the Day (2010-12-26)

Wanda: To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep who could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?

Otto: Apes don't read philosophy.

Wanda: Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it.

Source: A Fish Called Wanda

Quote of the Day (2010-12-25)

I once shot a man just to watch him die. Then I got distracted and missed it. My friends tried to describe it to me, but it just isn't the same.

Source: Kids in the Hall

Quote of the Day (2010-12-24)

C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2010-12-23)

Jerry: "Every time he tries to make a move, something screws up. Like on their first date, they were on the couch, but she was sitting on his wrong side."

Elaine: "Wrong side?"

Jerry: "Yes, she was on his right side. He can't make a move with his left hand. Can't go left."

Elaine: "He can't go left?"

Jerry: "No. I'm leftie, can't go right. What about women? Do they go left or right?"

Elaine: "No, we just play defense."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2010-12-22)

The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...

[cut to Westley, Inigo, and Fezzik]

The Impressive Clergyman: And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...

[cut to the trio again]

The Impressive Clergyman: So tweasure your wuv.

Prince Humperdinck: Skip to the end.

The Impressive Clergyman: Have you the wing?

[cut to the trio once more]

Prince Humperdinck: Man and wife. Say man and wife.

The Impressive Clergyman: Man an' wife.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2010-12-21)

Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.

Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see...

Gale: Shut up!

Feisty Hayseed: Okay then.

Gale: Everybody down on the ground!

Evelle: Y'all can just forget that part about freezin' now.

Gale: Better still to get down there.

Evelle: Yeah, y'all hear that, don't ya?

[Everybody lays down. Gale looks at the now-empty teller windows]

Gale: Shit! Where'd all the tellers go?

Teller's voices: We're down here, sir.

Evelle: They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2010-12-20)

I had my dream again, where I'm making love and the Olympic judges are watching. I've nailed the compulsories so this is it, the finals. I got a nine eight from the Canadian, a perfect ten from the ! American, and my mother disguised as a East German judge gave me a five six. Must've been the dismount.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2010-12-19)

Sir Humphrey: "Hello Bernard, I hear the Prime Minister wants to see me?"

Bernard Woolley: "Yes, Sir Humphrey."

Sir Humphrey: "What's his problem?"

Bernard Woolley: "Education."

Sir Humphrey: "Well, it's a bit late to do anything about that now."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-12-18)

Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.

Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.

Reg: What's the *point*?

Francis: What?

Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?

Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2010-12-17)

Rick: I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2010-12-16)

Living is easy with eyes closed

Misunderstanding all you see

Source: John Lennon

Quote of the Day (2010-12-15)

Ian Faith: The Boston gig has been cancelled...

David St. Hubbins: What?

Ian Faith: Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it though, it's not a big college town.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2010-12-14)

Cliff: Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2010-12-13)

Mr. B: An optimist says, "The drink is half full." A pessimist says, "The drink is half full, but I might have bowel cancer."

Source: Kids in the Hall

Quote of the Day (2010-12-11)

[TV executives want Homer for a TV ad about bald and impotent men]

Homer: Well, I am bald and important!

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2010-12-10)

Mr. Ross: "It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children."

George: "Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2010-12-09)

H&H wouldn't let us use the bathroom when we were on strike. They put a cramp in our solidarity.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2010-12-08)

This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2010-12-07)

Lisa: Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2010-12-06)

[while engaging in a "battle of wits"]

Westley: You've made your decision, then?

Vizzini: Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Westley: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Vizzini: Wait till I get going!

[pause]

Vizzini: Where was I?

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2010-12-05)

Narrator: Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2010-12-04)

Michael Bolton: You haven't even been showing up for work, and you got to keep your job.

Peter Gibbons: Actually I'm being promoted.

Source: Office Space

Quote of the Day (2010-12-03)

Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?

Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2010-12-02)

Sir Arnold: "But once they have accepted the principle that senior civil servants could be removed for incompetence, that would be the thin end of the wedge. We could loose dozens of our chaps, hundreds perhaps."

Sir Humphrey: "Thousands..."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-12-01)

Reverend Lovejoy: This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants, designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first, let's pass the collection plate.

Source: The Simpsons